Rich "Can I have a Walrus Jay?" "A what?" "A Walrus Jay." "...What's that?" ::nervous silence:: "Uh...it's uh...kinda like a... dessert kind of thing....?" ::long, pondering pause:: ::points behind her:: "...We have hamburgers..."

Ah yes, those were the days...My rubbish initiation. That, and my "Crisp and Fresh as a Daisy" incident with the stewardess. Since then, I've done my part to uphold the honor that is being a soldier in the rubbish army. From the famous West Chester air-gram to the more recent chair polo matches, I have done my part to uphold the oath I took the day I became a member. Why, I can hear myself saying those sacred words, even now....

"Don't be afraid. Grab life by the waffles and smell hard. For the grains of eggplant nary refuse a talking surfboard with attitude. You see, the tissues of destiny cannot swim some sort of shag belt. The running soap dish must see your mother's spice windows before the geese become too globular. Rejoice, I say to you! The utility pickles have taught us well. The bagpipes of apathy wont turn my speakers. Welcome the hangers to your mailbox, and never forget always grate hamsters away from you."

Since that fateful day, I have been truly enlightened in the ways of the rubbish world. From when I first sealed my fate by signing the application into Trinity, which led to my eventual assumption into grouphood, up until present day, things have changed tremendously. And they'll continue to change. That's what keeps things interesting. I've worn many hats throughout the years: Injection Cord, Ketchup King, just about any Italian slur you can think of, Michael Jordan, Stella, the...princess, etc... I can only imagine the things in store for us in the years to come...